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Joke of the Day

"my mom discovered slang. she just texted me ""sup?"" and i wrote back ""not much nigga! just cold kickin it with my breezies!"""

"Remember: You don't owe anybody anything. Unless they killed someone for you. Then they probably deserve a nice gift card."

"Time does'nt exist. Clocks exists."

"How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Probably one, but I can easily pay two to get the job done together at the same price I'd pay any other repair man."

"I saw a Russian woman shouting at her husband It's clear who wears the tracksuit bottoms in that relationship"

"Why doesn't Mexico live up to it's full potential in the Olympics? Because all the Mexicans that can run, jump, and swim are in America."

"If I could be a superhero, I'd be Aluminum Man. My superpower would be foiling crime."

"[OC] Hey, do you wanna hear a joke about a condom? Tell you the truth, it's pretty bad. It's filled with holes."

"Welcome to twitter, the support group for people who like people who don't like people."

"What did the goat say to his friend after he cut his arm? I'm bleating all over the place!"