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Joke of the Day

"[Scene: Cloud City. Two men fight each other with lightsabers] Mario: You-a kill my father! Wario: No. I am-a your father. Mario: Mama-mia!"

"This show 2 broke girls"

"My doctor told me I only have two months left to live so I shot him, judge gave me 30 years."

"Give me the best quality TV commercial I can get for $47! -Attorneys"

"How many Vegans does it take to eat a cheeseburger? Only one... if no one is looking!"

"Why was the whittler banned from his synagogue? Because he made his rabbi a little cross."

"My resolution this year was to learn Spanish, and that only lasted about dos weekos."

"If Ronald Reagan were alive today he would roll in his grave... roll, scream, kick and so would you if you woke up in a casket."

"Gas is so fracking expensive these days."

"Why can't you play UNO with Mexicans? They'll steal all of the green cards."