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Joke of the Day

"My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it So we went and had drinks. Cool guy, wants to be a web designer."

"i bet today is the most confusing day in harlem!"

"Gather round children, and let me tell ye the story of the black forest ham"

"What does an existentialist bully say? ""Quit being yourself, quit being yourself!"""

"So there I was, balls deep in a jar of mayonnaise. When I said to myself, ""Self..."" ""I shoulda made a sandwich first."""

"TIFU by not paying attention while ordering at Subway. Whoops, wrong sub."

"Sometimes I can't remember what parking lot I left my car in at the mall so I get it Malaysia Airlines...I totally get it."

"So I was at the club They played crank that, and I did the Superman. They played the Cupid shuffle, so I did the Cupid shuffle. They played Come on Eileen, and I got kicked out of the club."

"How do two gays propose? They both get on all fours and present the ring!"

"I just opened up Microsoft Edge... Now I can download Google Chrome in style."