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Joke of the Day

"You hear in his will Prince left a bunch of large musical instruments to churches? Turns out he was *a big organ donor.*"

"How many? How many pessimists does it take to change a light bulb? None - it's probably screwed it too tight anyhow!"

"one time I saw a guy playing with a yoyo walk into a street sign. I laughed so hard that it changed me. It changed everything."

"What did the failing kidney say to the healthy one? Urine charge now."

"I was going 70 miles an hour and got stopped by a cop who said -Do you know the speed limit is 55 miles per hour?- -Yes officer but I wasn't going to be out that long.-"

"Why do parrots carry umbrellas? So they don't become polly-saturated!"

"So Twilight jokes - What does a vampire call a used tampon? A teabag."

"A man speaks with his daughter. Father : Well, you fuck way better than your mother. Daughter : I know, my brothers told me!"

"What do cats read Mewspapers"

"I wanna Die peaceful in my sleep just my like my Grandpah! Unlike the passengers in his car..."