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Joke of the Day

"Sorry I used the word flaccid twice in your wedding toast."

"Why was Cinderella kicked off the basketball team? She kept running away from the ball"

"When do cannibals cook you? On Fried-days."

"I've got a chicken proof lawn It's impeccable"

"What do you call a gang of Country musicians jamming the shit out of some good ol' music? A twang-bang"

"What is a video game characters favorite method of brawling? Hitboxing!"

"So Jesus... Walks in to a hotel, with a hand full of nails and a hammer in the other...and asks ""Can you put me up for the night ?"""

"Thanks to Twitter I will never again ask a man ""What are you thinking?"" Because now I know and I am horrified."

"Accountant: Mr Cage, you are flat broke. *flashback to applying for a loan wearing John Travolta's face* Nick Cage: I already handled it"

"Stores and their non-secular agendas have switched from selling Christmas stuff to Valentine's Day stuff, completely ignoring Toyotathon."