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Joke of the Day

"Stores and their non-secular agendas have switched from selling Christmas stuff to Valentine's Day stuff, completely ignoring Toyotathon."

"I like my coffee how I like my women. With my dick in it! (Joke from Board James)"

"""You run like you're making fun of running."" -my brother"

"Teacher: ""Answer this math problem: if your father earns $500 a week and gives half to your mother. What will he have?"" Student: ""A heart attack."""

"What's the difference between a woman having her period and a terrorist? You can negotiate with a terrorist"

"My phone didn't get a ring all day. . Then I forgot I had it in lebron mode."

"Confucius Say: He who drop watch in toilet... Bound to have shitty time."

"Someone told me Canada had no territories... I was having Nunavut."

"Guess what I'm going to do if I get Alzheimer's?"

"Hot guy just walked up to me and said I was pretty so naturally I pulled out a Sharpie and drew a star on his forehead."