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Joke of the Day

"there is no way you can prove that babies grow and are not instead replaced overnight with entirely new but slightly larger babies"

"Listen, I'll let you borrow any Disney movie I've got except for one. I'm never gonna give you Zootopia. I'm a fucking furry. *Gotcha!*"

"An atheist and a vegan walk into a bar... The only reason I know this is because they both told everybody."

"First Kangaroo: How do you tell the difference between an elephant and a rhinoceros? Second Kangaroo: The elephant has a better memory."

"My grandad gave me some sound advise on his deathbed. ""It's worth spending money on good speakers"", he told me."

"My previous relationship was like a presidential term. It aged me prematurely and my replacement was elected two months before I was officially out of office!"

"Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton are on an airplane. The airplane crashes. Who survives? America."

"Which fruit can never get married? Melons, because they can'telope."

"What do you call a penguin in the desert? Lost."

"What is light and red? Pink"