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Joke of the Day

"My grandad gave me some sound advise on his deathbed. ""It's worth spending money on good speakers"", he told me."

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"Why aren't there any mexicans in star trek? They don't work in the future either."
"Hot guy just walked up to me and said I was pretty so naturally I pulled out a Sharpie and drew a star on his forehead."
"Found out the difference between onions and men. I don't cry when I'm chopping up men."
"One time someone told me the camera adds 10 pounds and I was like why would anyone eat a camera you idiot?"
"Perfect pitch is... ...when you throw an accordion into a dumpster and it hits a banjo."
"One of my students told me he was drinking formic acid to settle his indigestion. After all, I suppose it is an *ant* acid."
"""I ruined my health by drinking to everyone Else's."""
"What brand of butter do frogs eat? Country Croak."
"What do you call a cat with 3 legs? A handicat"
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