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Joke of the Day

"Listen, I'll let you borrow any Disney movie I've got except for one. I'm never gonna give you Zootopia. I'm a fucking furry. *Gotcha!*"

"Comas make a big difference in a sentence. For example: Ben is in a hurry Ben is in a coma"

"If you send Joseph Gordon-Levitt a script that doesn't say ""skinny tie"" on the first page, he gets so mad he has to write four ukulele songs"

"Based on all the white smoke billowing out, I think my lawn mower just picked a new pope."

"What did the fisherman say to the magician? Pick a cod, any cod!"

"My girlfriend broke up with me because I stole her wheelchair. It's ok though, she always comes crawling back."

"What is Bill Cosby's favorite ice cream flavor? Rape."

"I try to use proper grammar and punctuation in all of my tweets, until I'm about to go over the 140 character limit...& den u no how it b."

"Blood is thicker than water, so I'm going to have to use Comet on this bathtub"

"Why was the high schooler in the gun store? There was a back to school sale."