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Joke of the Day

"How many immature people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Hehe... 'screw' Alternatively: 69, but everyone expects that one."

"What has 40 teeth and holds a monster at bay? My zipper."

"Behind every successful man stands a surprised woman and behind her stands the surprised mother-in-law and behind her,your surprised Dad."

"Did you that even when The Thing is not scared... He still shits bricks"

"I went to a new zoo that has opened up in my area yesterday. Wasn't really worth it, they had one animal and it was a dog. Turns out it was a Shih Tzu."

"So here I am in the Internet Cafe... ... with the angriest, ugliest bastard I've ever seen reading every word I ty"

"Am I able to think up of a brand new color... ...or will it just be a pigment of my imagination?"

"I give up drinking for good. ... ... ... Now, I drink for evil."

"Q: What can strike a blonde without her even knowing it? A: A thought."

"Me: Your shoes are on the wrong feet. 4yo: .. Me: .. 4yo: .. Me: .. 4yo: I don't have any other feet.. Me: Fair enough."