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Joke of the Day

"You find it offensive. I find it funny, that's why I'm happier than you."

"The other day my dessert looked like it was undressing me with it's eyes... It was a total crepe."

"Why does Paris have tree lined streets? Because the German army likes to march in the shade."

"Why did Blackbeard cross the road? To indicate where the treasure is buried."

"This one time in high school I was called to the front of the class while I had hardest boner I ever had. It was the only time I thanked God for giving me a micro penis."

"Why was Timothy, the British astronaut, selected to go to the ISS? He was in Peake condition."

"My Granddad committed suicide. He drove off a cliff. Everyone was screaming and shouting at him telling him not to do it. Then again he was a bus driver."

"Child: Dad, I don't like the goldfish... Dad: Shut up and eat your dinner."

"you're mama so fat... she broke her leg and gravy poured out."

"What's the cheapest kind of meat? Deer balls, they're under a buck!"