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Joke of the Day

"On one side of me was Dwayne Johnson, and the other, a stone fish. I guess I was just between the Rock and a hard plaice."

"What's Donald Trumps favorite juice? Orangu-Tang"

"What side of the American flag are the stars on? Both sides. Came from my FIL on this Memorial Day."

"I haven't spoken to my wife in three weeks. She told me not to interrupt her."

"It's raining cats and dogs outside. Know how I can tell? I stepped in a poodle."

"Hey girl Are you the new gorilla exhibit? Because I want to throw a baby in you."

"If a person were to give a speech about Mozart, where would they be most likely to do it? On the Dias On the Dias Oh Oh Oh, on the dais."

"UPDATE: This year's least popular Halloween candy was, as always, Reese's Feces."

"What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus? It only takes one nail to hang up a picture of Jesus."

"What's bad about being a black Jew? You have to sit in the back of the oven."