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Joke of the Day

"On one side of me was Dwayne Johnson, and the other, a stone fish. I guess I was just between the Rock and a hard plaice."

"My grandfather has the heart of a lion, ... and a lifetime ban from Edinburgh zoo."

"I almost got raped in jail I think my family takes monopoly way too seriously"

"If a Donkey and Zebra ever mate they'd have to call the offspring a Zonkey because Debra is already taken."

"Dear Kelloggs, Cereal that makes them go back to sleep. Sincerely, Tired parents"

"What does a code-switching trilingual Russian say when he wants to increase his bovine supply? Mas cow."

"My cat won't stop meowing at me I told him I don't speak cat-onese."

"What is a sandwich on a ship? A sub-marine"

"My gay friend told me his old boyfriend never played with his balls, but his new one just can't stop playing with them I told him ""I suppose one man's junk is another mans treasure"""

"What's so lame about a duck President? Pieces of bread, quacking, getting into all types of duck antics in the Oval Office! I'm game!"