201642

Joke of the Day

"Strange that the chimney tends to survive a house fire. as a cold reminder of where the fire should have been. -Jimeoin"

"It's not that the man didn't know how to juggle. He just didn't have the balls to do it"

"The thing people don't understand about how clickbait works"

"Back in college, I used to hang a sock on the doorknob when I wanted to signal my roommate that I had no idea how to fold laundry."

"The first time Chuck Norris ever played Counter Strike, he no-scope headshoted a terrorist through the walls from across the map on CS_Dust 2...... with a knife."

"I like my women like I like my coffee. Ground up and kept in the freezer."

"what's brown and sticky? a stick."

"Did you hear the news about the failed plan to send ISIS a shipment of deactivated bomb vests? People are surprised it's blowing up."

"A blind man walks into a bar... ...and a chair...and a table."

"SMS from my girl: If ur sleeping, send me ur dreams; if ur laughing, send me ur smile; if ur crying, send me ur tears. Response: Honey I'm shitting, should I send you something?"