210758

Joke of the Day

"i'm so sorry sir, but we here at chase bank don't accept gun-for-money exchanges. and we need an amount, not just ""all the money you got"""

"My wife always takes up two parking spaces. She ought to go on a diet."

"Hey Can_ZigZag: what did one burning bush say to the other? Ain't no way they're makin' a fuel out of me!"

"If there are liberal arts colleges, why aren't there any conservative arts colleges? Well, there used to be conservative arts colleges, but they were all defunded."

"I went to an allotment yesterday to find more soil there than the day before. Today, I went there again and found even more soil.. The plot thickens..."

"Are guys smarter before, during, or after sex with a woman? During, you're plugged into a know-it-all."

"Give a man a compliment & he'll be all, ""Yeah, I've been working out."" Teach a man to fish for a compliment & he'll be all, ""I feel SO fat."""

"Did you hear about the photographer that got locked in his darkroom? He died of exposure. It was not a pretty picture."

"What do you call someone who is not nice? Denice. (De-nice)"

"The best part about owning a pet. You can blame your dog for farting, you can blame your cat for things falling over at night, and you can blame your goldfish for the screaming in the basement."