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Joke of the Day

"Give a man a compliment & he'll be all, ""Yeah, I've been working out."" Teach a man to fish for a compliment & he'll be all, ""I feel SO fat."""

"Why can't Arabs manage the scoreboards at ball games? Because people get nervous when Mohammad starts counting down from 10."

"Look picnics, if I wanted to spend three hours protecting my food with a spork, I'd just go to prison."

"Hey Vegas, your slogan is bullsh!t"" Prince Harry"

"I got my family banned from playing Family Feud today. The category was ""Describe your sex life with a Spongebob quote"" and apparently ""ARE YOU READY KIDS?"" was not the right answer."

"Why will Church's chicken be losing money? Because I don't see black people going to church's anytime soon"

"*Shoves a guy* I think you mean the SECOND biggest ""The Sound of Music"" fan on earth, bro."

"If you watch Jurassic Park backwards, it's an uplifting film about dinosaurs and people who work together to rebuild an island."

"A nudist colony is where both sexes go... ...to air their differences."

"Knock Knock Whos there Daisy Daisy who Daisy me rollin they hatin"