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Joke of the Day
"My wife always takes up two parking spaces. She ought to go on a diet."
Next Joke
"9 years ago, I asked the girl of my dreams out on a date. Today, I asked her to marry me. She said no both times."
"If you are going to call the cops every time you spot me in your bushes I don't think this relationship is going to work."
"I got robbed tonight at Shell. I called the cops & they asked if I knew who did it I said ""Yeah, pump 6."""
"What did George Washington have to do with Gorillas? As little as possible dummy!"
"How strange... Last night my flatmate only popped out for milk wearing no make up and instead came back with 4 packets of Haribo, 4 fun size Snickers and a 'Best Costume' trophy."
"My friend said Obama is the coolest president ever... ... Nah, Zachary Taylor was the illest."
"""For my next illusion"" the magician announces: ""Free will!"" Everyone starts clapping but they don't know why"
"If your bf/gf is mad at you put a cape on them and say, ""Now you're super mad!"" If they laugh marry them."
"Another poor soul worked at a company making blankets. He lost his job when the company folded."