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Joke of the Day

"(getting murdered) please i have a Sims family"

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"Why shouldn't you carry two half dollars in your pocket? Because two halves make a whole (hole) and you could lose your money."
"Did you hear about the scarecrow who won the Nobel Prize? He was outstanding in his field. From: http://www.dadlaughs.com"
"What do you call a legless man at the beach during high tide? Fucked."
"It's not the most beautiful poem, but it's pretty deep I dig you dig he digs she digs we dig"
"Friend request > Poke > Message > Phone Number > Text > Meet > Bang"
"My friend asked me to describe myself in 3 words... Lazy"
"If Batman left church early... Would it be a Christian Bale?"
"Ladies stop looking for a man to sweep you off your feet. Sweeping is your job."
"Why couldn't the life guard save the hippie? He was too far out, man."