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Joke of the Day
"How many optometrists does it take to change a light bulb? One..... Or two..."
Next Joke
"For those of you concerned about my upcoming birthday and struggling for ideas as to what to get me this year, I have registered for gifts at the liquor store..."
"What did the cow say under its breath? Utter."
"what is the most confusing day in the ghetto? father's day"
"""Suicide Squad"" looks like a bunch of people Avril Lavigne hangs out with."
"6-year-old: Where did the tornado go? Me: Don't worry. It's gone. 6: To where? Me: It just disappeared 6: Isn't that a little bit fishy?"
"Barista asks a customer if they would like their coffee black Customer replies ""what other colors do you have?"""
"What did the black guy get on his SATs? BBQ sauce."
"It's awkward when I have to pull someone aside and point out that my fly is open."
"Life milestone: when your iPhone stops autocorrecting ""fuck"" to ""duck."""