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Joke of the Day
"There's an omelet in the fridge. I want it. However, I can't have it... It's eggspired."
Next Joke
"Ever seen an elephant hiding in a cherry tree? No? Well, they must be hiding pretty good"
"Do you want me to write good jokes? Good jokes"
"I was born to be happy... not normal."
"My random thoughts Hmm I usually don't laugh out loud. But I have tried multiple times to laugh my fucking ass off. But it never falls off! :("
"A priest with a lisp offered to bring a roamin' Catholic to Paris ... The Catholic, bread in hand, was not impressed."
"*interrupts eulogy* SOMEONE SAID THAT ALMOST WORD FOR WORD AT THE LAST FUNERAL"
"You can tell a lot by the way a woman walks. Like if she walks away, she's probably not into you."
"*gets a Fitbit for Christmas* *puts it on a squirrel*"
"Next time a stranger talks to me when I'm alone, I will look at them shocked and whisper ""You can see me?"".."