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Joke of the Day

"*watches soccer* *watches soccer* *watches soccer* *watches soccer* *has to pee* *watches soccer* *gets up to pee* *misses goal* :/"

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"Why do Jews love sandwiches? Because they're not made in ovens."
"Wife leaves keys on counter with a helpful note saying ""keys"" in case I thought they were llamas."
"What do smart blondes and UFOs have in common? You always hear about them but never see any!"
"CNN reporting that CNN will be reporting something on CNN. Tune in to CNN for all of the up-to-the-minute stuff CNN is reporting."
"A Thanksgiving Joke What did the turkey say about the television program from the 1950s? There's a little bit too much grayvy."
"My Glee Club is just a baseball bat that I use to hit happy people over the head with."
"What does a fastidious female call a condom? Goo-be-gone"
"Life is like a box of chocolates... No one likes the dark ones, and the more white the others are, the richer they get."
"Do you think Bradley Cooper will call his kids Mini Coopers cause I hope so."