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Joke of the Day

"Life is like a box of chocolates... No one likes the dark ones, and the more white the others are, the richer they get."

"What do you call a person who farts in private? A private tutor"

"What's red and orange and looks good on hippies.... Fire."

"What do get when a ghost picks his nose? Boooooogers!"

"How do they launch a champagne factory? They throw a boat at it."

"Do babies know they're stupid?"

"My Muslim girlfriend wants to blow me Should I be excited or call the cops?"

"DOOM 4. All of the guns suck, so we made punching take forever."

"I went to the butcher's the other day and I bet him 50 bucks that he couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, ""No, the steaks are too high."""

"Why couldn't the man leave Moscow? He was Snowden."