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Joke of the Day

"What does a fastidious female call a condom? Goo-be-gone"

"Have you seen the clown at Walmart that hides from gay people? Of course you haven't."

"This just isn't my day... It could be raining t*tties and I'd get hit in the head with a d*ck..."

"So I got caught copying my friends test in class... I think the teacher heard my Xerox machine."

"[rap battle] [my opponent attempts to drop the mic, but I stealthily tied it to his finger so it just comes back up like a yo-yo]"

"I want to make a movie where RoboCop gets laid off due to budget cuts and has to work at a Waffle House."

"What's the similarities between a priest and McDonalds? They both stick their meat in 10 year old buns."

"I wasn't originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind."

"Have you heard the latest joke about physicists? It collapsed into a black hole."

"I stuck a ""Baby On Board"" sign on my minivan to warn the other drivers how fussy and tantrum-y I get when traffic's bad or I miss my nap."