21008

Joke of the Day

"Star wars dad joke heard tonight Dad ""Chewbacca seems kinda big for an ewok..."" Me ""he's a wookie. "" Dad ""he can't be, he's been in lots of movies now."""

"What's a space pirate's favorite planet? mArrrs!"

"What do you call a guy who'll date your sister, but will kill his sister for dating you! A Moderate Muslim."

"procrastinator's club .... ... meets tomorrow"

"Sorry my seductive strip tease to Janet Jackson's Black Cat blew your Grandma's pacemaker and caused your Mom to divorce your Dad."

"Ten things only 90s people remember: 1. 1990 2. 1991 3. 1992 4. 1993 5. 1994 6. 1995 7. 1996 8. 1997 9. 1998 10. That sound the modems made"

"You can really scare someone when you yell ""Peek-a-boo!"". Especially when they're trying on clothes in the fitting room."

"[Court] ""Do you swear to tell the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?"" Me: yes. *GF from the back* DO THESE PANTS MAKE ME LOOK FAT?"

"my Grandma with alzheimer's at my Wedding asked where's the body?"

"A zen student asked his master: ""Is it okay to use email?"" ""Yes"", replied the master, ""but with no attachments."""