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Joke of the Day
"Women I sleep with get so weird when I ask them to sign the guestbook."
Next Joke
"How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just two, as long as there's a bed inside."
"They say you are what you eat but what happens if you didn't mean to eat it. I don't want to be a bug."
"Where do theatrical cats wear their gloves? On their... Dramatic Paws"
"How many dead prostitutes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Apparently not 8 because my basement is still dark."
"I'm a lot like a pair of testicles. Cause I'm nuts in the sack."
"Whenever someone is about to tell me about their day, I just cover my ears and yell ""SPOILER ALERT!"""
"Guinea pigs aren't real pets. You buy them when your kids are begging for a dog, but you want to make them sad instead."
"What do you call a pen without style? Stylus."
"What's a stoners favorite word? Here! (Must be said like you are holding a hit in)"