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Joke of the Day

"I haven't been laid in so long that the Pope is laughing at me."

"Did you know that Helen Keller lived in a huge mansion? Neither did she"

"What's the difference between a whore and a bitch? A whore sleeps with everyone at the party, a bitch sleeps with everyone except you."

"Why did the squirrel swim on its back? so it wont get its nuts wet"

"The FBI agents that will eventually search your basement won't be able to sleep for a very long time."

"*smacks you with my coloring book* Wow. These coloring books really do work to relieve stress."

"Whats the difference between a refrigerator and a gay man? Refrigerators don't fart when you pull the meat out."

"What do Brazilian cats speak? Purr-tuguese"

"What do you call a spider with no legs? A raisin"

"Cleaning a house while toddlers are in it is like brushing your teeth while eating Oreos."