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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a spider with no legs? A raisin"

"I think what I did to get away from that spider could qualify as parkour."

"[breaking up with girlfriend via the jumbotron] ""Hey, check out the scoreboard while I grab a hot dog."""

"I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather But not like the rest of this joke, getting beaten like a dead horse"

"Did you hear about the guy who eating crackers in bed? He felt crumby the next day."

"When Princess Leia doesn't want to have Sex... Han reply: It's fine I'll do it with my hand... solo."

"The guys at Futurama really didn't do their research... Vice President Agnew was at lest a head taller than depicted!"

"What kind of chicken is circumcised and suffers from E.D.? A boneless, skinless chicken!"

"When coming out of any coma, try keeping your eyes shut for another day or two to see what everyone's saying about you."

"Probably 98% of human history would have never happened if showing off for girls wasn't a thing."