209650
Joke of the Day
"What's dumber than a box of rocks? The hippie carrying them around"
Next Joke
"I'm confused about plants"
"Two atoms in a pub Two atoms meet in the pub. One says, 'I think I've lost an electron.' The second atom with a strong British accent asks, 'Are you sure?' The first one replies, ' yes I'm positive.'"
"It's my wife birthday coming up and she keeps going on about how bad I am at buying presents. Well this year she's in for a rude awakening. I'm buying her a Tourettes alarm clock."
"Started a new exercise routine yesterday. So far I've only missed one day."
"I've decided to fight my addiction I'm not posting on reddit until next year"
"Caesar: friends, Romans countryman lend me your ear... [2 days later] *Caesar opens mailbox* ""oh FFS Van Gogh IT'S A SAYING!!!!!'"
"The neighbors with the baby moved out, and now the loudest crying heard throughout the entire apartment complex comes from me."
"Yar, I wound up a toy car and put it down me pants. It's driving me nuts."
"*a dripping wet Kurt Cobain stumbles out of his garage* ""OK WHO REPLACED MY GUN WITH A SUPERSOAKER"""