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Joke of the Day

"I'm confused about plants"

"I am running out of people I actually like."

"Why couldn't Mario ever watch Netflix with Peach? Because the princess was always on another Castle."

"Did you hear about the ghost who got a vasectomy? He had phantom loads."

"I went to the local library And found out that the post apocalyptic section has been shifted to current affairs after the us elections 2016"

"PILOT: Welcome to flying school. Any questions? ME: Is it possible to crash into a rainbow? PILOT: Yes it's how most of you will die. Next?"

"My parents were nihilists, but I knew they loved me... ...Because when they died, they left me nothing."

"Don't make fun of fat people; they have enough on their plate."

"So someone called me a dick... So it got me thinking, yeah it checks out; roommates are a couple of nuts, neighbor's an asshole, and my friend is kind of a cunt."