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Joke of the Day

"I went to the doctor and he gave me 2 months to live. So I shot him. Judge gave me 30 years. So I mean who's the real winner here?"

"Superpoer Friend: If you could only own one super power what would it be? Me: USSR"

"Lobotomies Do they smart?"

"Eight dwarves are in a tub, feeling happy Happy got out now they're all fucking grumpy Edit: seven dwarves, sorry"

"Beeoligist Is that a bee or a wasp? I don't know I'm not a Beeoligist."

"German men like their women like they like their beer Full."

"Like something you'd find on laffy taffy On a scale of 1-10 how high was Carl? 420"

"What is like tomato but better? DD-WRT"

"What's the difference between an epileptic oyster shucker and a prostitute with diarrhea? One shucks between fits."

"A freind of mine just started his own business in Afghanistan. He's making land-mines that look like prayer mats. It's doing well. He says prophets are going through the roof."