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Joke of the Day

"I went to the doctor and he gave me 2 months to live. So I shot him. Judge gave me 30 years. So I mean who's the real winner here?"

"My dick was in the Guinness Book of Records! ...but then I got kicked out of the library."

"A company in India is releasing the first-ever ""smart shoe"" that connects with Google Maps to track your footsteps. ""Merry Christmas,"" said your wife."

"What do the state of California and BDSM dungeons have in common? Nothing butt restrictions (thanks twitter.com/sorryforthelolz)"

"No matter how bad my head hurts, I bet Lindsay Lohan is jealous of my hangover."

"1) Find and catch a rabbit 2) Go to restaurant 3) Complain about a hare in your meal 4) Enjoy free meal plus adorable household pet"

"What's a sucker's favorite drink? Punch"

"My girlfriend was really excited about squishing a spider.. I told her she was turning into a cold blooded killer.."

"When the inventor of the USB stick dies they'll gently lower the coffin, then pull it back up, turn it the other way, then lower it again."

"There's a hotel with no bathrooms Its called the Holdinit Inn"