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Joke of the Day

"What do the state of California and BDSM dungeons have in common? Nothing butt restrictions (thanks twitter.com/sorryforthelolz)"

"We can't afford a Trump presidency. The money spent alone on hundreds of new White House door knobs for his wee-baby hands would bankrupt us"

"Do you know anything about tapes and cd's? Do you think if i taped my dick to my forehead you could cd's nuts?"

"The word you're trying to think of is ""Patronizing""."

"Twitter makes me want to have drinks with people I've never met, and Facebook makes me want to throw drinks at people I already know."

"The lazy river is my favorite ride at this amusement park. ""Ahhhhh!"" I scream as I float in a giant circle, not spilling my drink at all"

"Make it awkward today by asking people what they did for Valentine's Day. When they answer ""dinner"", you should say ""no...after that""."

"YouTube is the nicest company ever... They just want to even the playing field so their competitors have a chance to catch up to them."

"I drink Mountain Dew for the protective coating it leaves on my teeth. The kidney stones are a close second."

"I bought some artwork at GenCon, but I'm pretty sure I got ripped off. I swear they're all a bunch of con artists."