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Joke of the Day

"What do the state of California and BDSM dungeons have in common? Nothing butt restrictions (thanks twitter.com/sorryforthelolz)"

"We get it car dealers, EVERY Day is a sale day. You don't have to make shit up like The Saturday After It Rained On A Friday Sale."

"Only Pools And Corpses A new sitcom starring Michael Barrymore and Demi Moore."

"I could totally handle twins, triplets even quadruplets. Hold it, you're talking about BABIES?"

"I love watching two girls meet each other. It's easily the most fake thing I have ever seen."

"Bob Dylan's singing sounds like me insisting I'm okay to drive."

"What do you get when you cross a donkey and an onion? A piece of ass that will bring a tear to your eye."

"I'm starting a therapeutic cooking class for Parkinson's Disease patients. It's called ""Shake & Bake""."

"If you have a daughter, let her marry a programmer. They are men with codes."

"A Roman walks into a bar.... ...Holds up two fingers and says ""five beers please""."