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Joke of the Day

"A company in India is releasing the first-ever ""smart shoe"" that connects with Google Maps to track your footsteps. ""Merry Christmas,"" said your wife."

"So I was going down on this chic... So I was going down on this chic the other night, when I tasted horse semen, so I stopped and said, ""Really Gran? That's how you died?"""

"I live in constant fear that someone will abduct my mother in law at 35 Ash Street, London, Flat 2, door is sticky buzz Carol to let you in."

"How did I find out my sister was on her period? I tasted her blood on my father's dick."

"Most days I feel like three kids stacked up on each other's shoulders, covered by a huge coat, trying to pass as one of all these grown-ups."

"Colin had his neck brace fitted years ago He's never looked back"

"They say god dosn't give people they can't handle. Except cancer."

"How do you get a Jewish girls number? Roll up her sleeve."

"Starbucks job interview: ""What's your name?"" ""Alyssa"" ""Spell that please"" ""L A R I S S A"" ""When can you start?"""

"What do you call a group of physicians with erectile dysfunction? Doctors Without Boners"