209169

Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between an epileptic corn farmer and a pornstar with a bout of diarrhea? One shucks between fits."

"What is the best way to avoid having your flight bombed? Bring your own bomb! Cause what are the odds that there are **two** bombs on the same plane?"

"What's your favorite clock time? Personally, I'd say that 6:30 is the best clock time, hands down."

"I made my girlfriend cry the other day. I called her son a bloody disappointment. Apparently she's very sensitive about her miscarriage."

"cop: ""sir im afraid your dog is too cool for this neighbourhood"" me: [turns his little baseball cap round right way] cop: ""ok that's better"""

"What currency do they use in space? Star Bucks."

"The power went out. At the gigafactory."

"Members of my family suffer from a medical condition called ""death,"" but it only strikes late in life."

"Most people call me ""bad at pickup lines"" But you? You can call me tonight."

"Saying ""I'm sorry"" is the same as saying ""I apologize"" ...Except at a funeral."