209066

Joke of the Day

"Two fish are swimming together and they hit a wall, one turns to the other and says... Damn."

"What idiot called them dog tags instead of collar ID"

"""You're in no position to be making demands."" [does a handstand] ""Company helicopter & 2 months extra vacation."" ""Fair enough."

"Speed dating has nothing to do with drugs. I know that now."

"What's the best way to catch a unique rabbit? Unique up on him"

"How much does it cost for a pirate to get his ears pierced A buccaneer"

"Why did the hipster go to the gynecologist? To get a Pabst smear."

"Do you remember the name of the Italian/Vietnamese restaurant we went to? Yeah! It was great, how could I ""Pho-get-abouttit"""

"What was the yacht doing while it played heavy metal music? Dokken"

"Sometimes I feel awkward cause I don't quite know what to do with all my limbs, but then I imagine if I was an octopus and I feel better."