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Joke of the Day

"Sometimes I feel awkward cause I don't quite know what to do with all my limbs, but then I imagine if I was an octopus and I feel better."

"holy crap a guy actually gave me his number and i didn't know what to do so i panicked and sent him a picture of a dead bird?"

"Timmy comes home with a bad maths test result Dad: ""If your next test result is bad, I won't think you as my son."" A few days later Dad: ""How was your history test?"" Timmy: ""Who the hell are you?"""

"I'm thinking about having an open casket funeral... Remains to be seen. :D"

"What does a perverted frog say? Rubbit."

"A criminal tried to escape federal jurisdiction by running across the southern border, but then he had a sudden realization.. He was in Tasmania"

"""We've isolated the gene for the long, drawn-out sigh!"" -Sighentists"

"What type of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers"

"What book is better when you read it drunk? Tequila Mockingbird."

"I was drinking at a bar so i took the bus home Seemed like a good idea at the time but i've never driven a bus before..."