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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between an apple and a baby? People didn't freak out for no reason when I started eating an apple in public."

"My dad beat me so hard. Our priest asked him for some tips."

"What did the cat cough up when it was sick? Meowcus"

"I'm an adult. I don't cry over spilt milk unless it has coffee in it."

"What should you do before criticizing Pac-Man? WAKA WAKA WAKA mile in his shoes"

"are u in love with me? no?? *slides u a chocolate pudding* how about now?"

"""I couldn't love anyone like you,"" I told my wife. ""Aw, thanks,"" she blushed. I'm glad she didn't understand me."

"Thank you 2015 for... Bees?"

"Sex so bad, Taylor Swift breaks up with you and doesn't even write a song about it."

"Why are birds always sad in the morning? Their bills are over dew"