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Joke of the Day
"The Government"
Next Joke
"Sorry for accidentally karate kicking you. Sorry for high-fiving everyone who saw it"
"Did the girl ever go to the whore Olympics? Nah, she couldn't be fucked."
"So a beautiful girl I met was coming to my house.. But I was afraid of getting a boner, so I taped my dick to my leg. She shows up in a mini-skirt, smoking hot.. so I kicked her in the face."
"What did the lesbian vampire say to the other? See you next month!"
"What did the conservatives say to the abortion rights supporters? You'll never de-fetus."
"I choose which country to root for in the Olympics by what cuisine I'm hungry for at the moment. Go Italy! #gnocchi2014"
"The US should rejoin Great Britain Its not like we mind Taxation without representation anymore."
"Why are tampons always grumpy? Because they're stuck up cunts."
"How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? Pick him up and suck his dick."