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Joke of the Day

"Why are tampons always grumpy? Because they're stuck up cunts."

"[NSFW] What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball? Gagged"

"Where do chickens go to get their coffee? Star- B-BWAKS"

"Why did the walrus go to the Tupperware party? To find a tight seal."

"What caused the civil war in Ethiopia? Too many Negus."

"I didn't know how to put this gently so I drew you a picture. That's you. Now, see the guy choking you? That's me."

"My wife told me to go out and come back with something that made her look sexy. I came back drunk."

"A man knocked on my door this morning, asking for a small donation towards the local swimming pool... So I gave him a glass of water."

"Know what ""buffet"" stands for? Big Ugly Fat Fuckers Eating Together. Credit: This loud big ugly fat fucker drinking a few tables away from me at this bar."

"I'd date me. But mainly because I put out."