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Joke of the Day

"I work with some really great people. They're reliable, they're honest and they never cause any problems. I don't fit in at all."

"Lots of road accidents are caused by bad weather It snow joke"

"If you date a Chinese girl and you don't want to meet her parents, you're doing it Wong."

"[walks up to firefighters trying to put out a fire] it's alright guys i got this one. *whips out a flamethrower* TIME TO FIGHT FIRE WITH FI-"

"Women have always been selfish, even when they were created. They had to have 2 x-chromosomes not 1."

"-hey don't shoot me, i'm just the messenger! -oh the letter says to shoot me? okay th-"

"Why are contortionists always angry? Their work usually has them pretty bent out of shape."

"You all hate smokers until you need to light a birthday cake..."

"Every time I think my posts suck ... I just go read everyone else's and then I feel much better."

"this Holiday Inn has their flag at half mast...I'm assuming one of their guests died overnight"