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Joke of the Day

"Do these sweatpants and 5 extra pounds make me look like I'm in a relationship?"

"My wife is so moody at Christmas, I blame the festive period."

"How many Irish folk singers does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change the bulb and one to sing about how grand the old bulb was."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Candice ! Candice who ? Candice get any better !"

"Slave: I know a way to escape Hipster slave: My friend Harriet has a better way. You probably haven't heard of it. It's really underground."

"why can't you keep a jew in jail? they eat lox..."

"Everyone on twitter is single, pretending to be single, or about to be single"

"How do you turn a fox in to an elephant? Marry it."

"FITNESS TIP: Set a regular gym schedule that's easy to keep up with. For example, I work out once every 4 years after I vote for president."

"What do you call a spouse of 30 years? A stalemate."