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Joke of the Day

"I moved to LA with nothing but the shirt on my back. No pants & I couldn't figure out how to get the shirt on my front. Soon I was jailed"

"People say his actions move people to tears. well I wasn't aware he was rapist."

"What did the policeman say when he was told about the large pothole? ""I'll look into it."""

"[at funeral] Me: ""I'm sorry your husband died in that boating accident in Venice"" Widow: ""please no.... Me: ""you have my gondolances"""

"How do you have a sexy barbecue? You grill the sausage."

"A man is incomplete until he is married. After that he's finished."

"Boy, are you a destination wedding? Cuz I can't come."

"What's the difference between a Chemist and a Plumber? The way they pronounce ""unionized"""

"Can't remember the name of that 80's song, huh? You might have Wham!nesia..."

"So why is it called the ""funny bone""? BECASE IT'S ATTACHED TO YOUR HUMERUS"