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Joke of the Day

"""The mood was somber plus it was a total sausage fest. The unlimited fish & loaves were a nice touch though.""-Yelp review of the Last Supper"

"I farted in a room full of hipsters.. then watched them fight over who heard it first."

"What snake do get when cross a calculator with a steam engine? A puff-adder"

"Why is Iron Man's arch nemesis not Wrinkle Man?"

"What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor?... Make me one with everything."

"What do you give an injured alligator? Gatorade"

"I met a ninja and asked if he could throw those pointy stars that ninjas have. He said, ""shuriken."""

"Chuck Norris invented the bolt-action rifle, liquor, sexual intercourse, and football-- in that order."

"What's the hardest part about walking through a field of dead hookers? Your erection."

"Just ate a Hot Pocket filled with pasta alfredo because my body is a landfill and I don't ever want a husband"