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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a fish with two knees? A two-knee fish! (works better when you're drunk)"

"How do you stop your ol' lady from ruining your Saturday night? Kill the bitch on friday."

"What is the difference between being hungry and horny? What she means by ""eat out."""

"*takes your order* *goes to kitchen* *comes back* ""did you say grilled cheese or gorilla cheese?"" grilled *sighs* *goes to kitchen*"

"Muhammad Ali recently died, but look at the bright side: At least he isn't shaking anymore."

"I tried anal once It was fucking shit"

"What did the Marvel character say when he attained full control of his Android's CPU and Kernel? I am Root."

"Too bad Ray Rice didn't kill his wife, The Ravens would've just put a statue of him in front of the stadium."

"What did the gentleman say to the doctor when he went to get his pus drained? Please! I in cyst!"

"Don't you hate that feeling when you close your eyes to apply shampoo, and get paranoid that someone will kill you in the shower."