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Joke of the Day

"*takes your order* *goes to kitchen* *comes back* ""did you say grilled cheese or gorilla cheese?"" grilled *sighs* *goes to kitchen*"

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"A zombie opened his frig for a snack. He looked at a human brain, but threw it away... ... it was expired."
"Tell your kids where hotdogs come from first. They won't ever ask about babies."
"I loaned a blind guy some money... It's ok though. He said he'd pay me back next time he saw me."
"Watched my first porno today... I looked much younger back then."
"Why? How I answer every text when my friends with little kids ask me what I'm doing tonight Related - I never babysit"
"MY PARENTS ARE OUT OF TOWN SO I CAN FINALLY WINK AT THE CAT AS MUCH AS I WANT"
"Boy to Friend: I'm sorry I won't be able to go out after school. I promised Dad that I would stay in and help him with my homework."
"What do you call a woman with one short leg? ilene."
"Does an Eskimo ever think about drizzling their house with delicious flavored syrups and eating it?"