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Joke of the Day

"What is the difference between being hungry and horny? What she means by ""eat out."""

"I wasn't trying to put you on a pedestal. I was trying to bend you over it."

"I wanted to try Heroine the other day... But for as long as I tried, I just couldn't fit the courageous female rolemodel into my syringe."

"So I thought I would share a time travel joke with you guys.. But you didn't like it."

"How do you cook toilet paper? You brown it on one side, then throw it in the pot!"

"STOP TELLING ME YOUR NEWBORN'S WEIGHT AND LENGTH I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH THAT INFORMATION."

"The Pope just changed his relationship status to It's Complicated..."

"Damn girl, are you damn girl? Cuz damn girl."

"I saw an amateur ventriloquist the other night. The performance was a little wooden."

"It was a beautiful day at the beach. .... Three young women with eye-popping racks decided to sunbathe without their bikini tops. .... A cop came along and pinched all six of 'em."