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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a schoolmaster and a stationmaster? The stationmaster minds trains while the schoolmaster trains minds."

"What do you get when you cross a spud and a metal show? Moshed potatoes."

"I have decided to leave my past behind me.. so If I owe you money..I'm sorry. but I've moved on."

"""welcom to salad shop do u want a salad"" yes ""do u want chicken on it"" yes ""do u want bread on the side"" r u just selling unmade sandwiches"

"If life gives you melons... get a good sports bra."

"A mushroom walks into a bar... The bartender says, ""We don't serve your kind here!"" And the mushroom says, ""Why not? I'm a fungi!"""

"Calm down, white people expertly wielding chopsticks to eat pad thai."

"Why is the rabbi in geometry? To practice circumscribing"

"What's up? Some movie about an old guy and balloons."

"What do you get when cross-eyed and looking at a solar eclipse? A solar ellipses..."