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Joke of the Day

"What do you get when cross-eyed and looking at a solar eclipse? A solar ellipses..."

"For the first time ever I find Hillary relatable. I'm not president either."

"I like my coffee like I like my women... Ground fine and stored in the freezer to maximize the freshness. Oh man this is awful. Don't kill me."

"Why don't chicken coops have four doors? They would be chicken sedans"

"When I die use my body to block up a water slide. No one should have fun once I'm gone"

"i show up at the range wearing a t-shirt that says ""I Wont Wear The Earplugs"" and i m promptly directed back to my car by staff members"

"What did Jay-Z call his wife-to-be? Feyonce."

"What kind of computer can't sing? A Dell"

"The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably."

"*KNOCK KNOCK* OPEN UP ITS THE POLICE ""What do you want?"" YOU'RE UNDER ARRES- ""No."" ..NO?? ""No, I don't want to be."" *whispers* Shit now what"