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Joke of the Day
"If life gives you melons... get a good sports bra."
Next Joke
"Did you hear about the lunatic who tried swimming in the river in Paris? He was in seine"
"When I see my cat watching out the window, fascinated, I sit beside her and say, 'Look, Simba. Everything the light touches is our kingdom.'"
"A Jewish kid asks his father for twenty dollars. His father replied, ""ten dollars, what in the world do you need five dollars for, I'd be happy to give you a dollar, here's one cent."""
"Why did the chicken cross the road? The aristocrats."
"I wish my husband was as concerned with ""preheating"" me as he is with the oven..."
"Boy, are you a destination wedding? Cuz I can't come."
"[First Date] HER: Do you consider yourself a feminist? ME: Oh I'm not feminist at all! HER: ME: In fact, some of my best friends are women."
"My friend fell into the gelatto machine. Ice creamed in terror."
"Um, my eyes are up here. -giraffes"