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Joke of the Day
"What's up? Some movie about an old guy and balloons."
Next Joke
"1 in 3 Americans, weighs as much as the other 2...!!"
"What's black and doesn't work in an office? Decaf coffee!"
"I wrote 2793 tweets in advance. So if I die tomorrow, you won't know until 2018."
"I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over."
"I'm a very old fashioned kind of guy (i'll kill you and steal your spices)"
"I saw Donald Trump walk by Natalie Portman and Ben Stiller without stopping... Turns out he really doesn't recognize Jewish Stars."
"Why should you always take two Mormon's fishing? Cause if you take one, he'll drink all your beer"
"In 7 seasons I've never seen a single motherfucker on Top Chef wash their hands."
"Why didn't Wile E. Coyote just spend all that Acme money to buy an actual dinner?"