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Joke of the Day
"Why was the diamond depressed? He had been under a lot of pressure lately."
Next Joke
"Try this at the bars, guaranteed 18% success rate: You: Do you have a permit to carry that? Her: Carry what? You: DAT ASS! Then issue a citation with your phone # on it."
"I once was wrestling a guy and had him in a lock but couldn't make him tap out. Sorry for the bad submission."
"You can tell that a train has a gambling problem... When it spends all its time at the track."
"A customer asked me to check their balance. ...so I pushed them over and they fell."
"I got a call at work telling me my daughter missed period number 3. When I woke up in the ambulance it turns out it was the school calling."
"You only have one childhood, it may as well last your entire life."
"If I had a dollar for every time I ever thought of you, I'd probably start thinking about you."
"What's the difference... What's the difference between a bowling ball and menstrual blood clots? You can't gargle a bowling ball."
"When does 1+1=3? When you don't use a condom."