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Joke of the Day

"Try this at the bars, guaranteed 18% success rate: You: Do you have a permit to carry that? Her: Carry what? You: DAT ASS! Then issue a citation with your phone # on it."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Bruce ! Bruce who ? I Bruce easily don't hit me !"

"What do you call a Mexican that lives in Maine An L.L.Beaner"

"How many Germans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. If engineered correctly."

"What's the difference between a 12 year old grill and a 12 year old girl? The grill doesn't cry when you use it to satisfy your meaty desires."

"Whoever said Obama never created any jobs... Obviously has never heard of Isis"

"What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? ""Where's my tractor?"" (as told by my Irish granddad)"

"What is the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair"

"What's a Muslim's favorite TV show? It's always sunni in Philadelphia"

"What goes ""oh oh oh""? Santa walking backwards."